What do you live for?
What drives you to do the things you do?
What pushes you to put in that extra effort, that extra time?
Is it like a seesaw or a balance, where effort from one thing leads to a lacking in some other aspect?
What makes you get up in the morning, get to uni, go to your lectures and tuts and come back home? Because the whole cycle just begins again the next day.
So whats the point in doing that?
Why do you bother doing it at all?
What are you living for?
Why do you do the things you do?
Is there a purpose, a goal, a long-term plan?
Are you doing it purely because you think that you should do it?
For the sake of doing "something" and not nothing?
Is there an answer for these questions?
I feel as though I'm just... existing.
As though there is no purpose.
I'm just doing what I'm doing because I'm told.
Commitments? I don't know.
Why do I go to uni?
Because my parents want me to go to uni.
Do I want to go to uni?
Who knows.
I don't think I'm made for uni.
I feel disillusioned.
Where is my direction?
Why do I go to work?
Because my boss tells me to go to work.
Its like everything you do is based upon rules.
Standards.
Regulations that you must obey.
Thats what life is, isn't it? The foundations and the very essence of society.
Who are you listening to? It's your life isn't it.
But everything you do, is what everyone else wants you to do.
What would destroy me?
What do I hold dear?
What would I fight for?
I need answers.
But I don't have any.
And no one will provide me with any.
If someone asks me what I'm striving for, I wouldn't be able to answer.
And I've been asked that question a few times before.
I don't have a drive.
A motivation.
A passion.
A belief.
I'm just, existing.
